A very close friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic. We were having a discussion one day, about a little over a year ago, about AA and the 12 steps. Needing some advice, I asked him how he was able to take control over something that he had no apparent control over for so long. He said one of the main principles when dealing with addiction (or anything troubling you in life) is the theory of letting go or “giving it to God.” As a devout Catholic, he strongly believes in the higher power and that He loves all His children and that He watches over all of us, answers all our prayers, blah blah blah. My friend insists that without his faith, he would never have been able to begin (and continue) on his path to recovery. That’s awesome. For him. I’m not knocking people’s beliefs or what gets you through the night. As long as no one or no animals get hurt in the process, go for it. I’m all for living your own life the way you see fit. You choose to hang from a beam in your ceiling wearing nothing but your grandmother’s nightgown with Cheetos sticking out of your nose? Totally fine. You wanna ride a Harley with no helmut through a hurricane under a full moon while singing La Vida Loca? Right on, more power to you. You want to believe there’s a nice old man with a flowing robe and a long white beard who lives on a cloud in the sky who gives you stuff when you’re good? Whatever tickles your proverbial pickle.
The whole concept of faith and what he was saying was incredibly hard for me to accept. I always felt like if you wanted something badly enough, you just get it, do it, work it. The harder you work at it, the more you’ll appreciate having whatever “it” is in the end. The older and less wise I get, the more I understand everything’s not so black and white. Therefore, in the spirit of being open to new experiences and willing enough to try things I’d never believed in before, I decided to give my friend’s advice a shot. This shit’s not working. I’m having sneaking suspicions that fate is more of a factor than faith ever could be when it comes down to it.
I was never a strong believer in fate. I always thought it was a cop out. When I wanted something, I’d get it. When I wasn’t happy for whatever reason, I’d change it. My destiny and ultimate contentment was completely within my own power. Now I’m doubting. If something is meant to be, will it just be? Can anything be done on our earthly plane to change the path that we’re on? Regardless of what turns we take, what decisions we make, do we end up, ultimately, at a predetermined destination? What fate says is that individuals are just flitting around with no control over what’s going to happen. That’s a scary concept. That can’t be right. Can it?
