A very close friend of mine is a recovering alcoholic. We were having a discussion one day, about a little over a year ago, about AA and the 12 steps. Needing some advice, I asked him how he was able to take control over something that he had no apparent control over for so long. He said one of the main principles when dealing with addiction (or anything troubling you in life) is the theory of letting go or “giving it to God.” As a devout Catholic, he strongly believes in the higher power and that He loves all His children and that He watches over all of us, answers all our prayers, blah blah blah. My friend insists that without his faith, he would never have been able to begin (and continue) on his path to recovery. That’s awesome. For him. I’m not knocking people’s beliefs or what gets you through the night. As long as no one or no animals get hurt in the process, go for it. I’m all for living your own life the way you see fit. You choose to hang from a beam in your ceiling wearing nothing but your grandmother’s nightgown with Cheetos sticking out of your nose? Totally fine. You wanna ride a Harley with no helmut through a hurricane under a full moon while singing La Vida Loca? Right on, more power to you. You want to believe there’s a nice old man with a flowing robe and a long white beard who lives on a cloud in the sky who gives you stuff when you’re good? Whatever tickles your proverbial pickle.
The whole concept of faith and what he was saying was incredibly hard for me to accept. I always felt like if you wanted something badly enough, you just get it, do it, work it. The harder you work at it, the more you’ll appreciate having whatever “it” is in the end. The older and less wise I get, the more I understand everything’s not so black and white. Therefore, in the spirit of being open to new experiences and willing enough to try things I’d never believed in before, I decided to give my friend’s advice a shot. This shit’s not working. I’m having sneaking suspicions that fate is more of a factor than faith ever could be when it comes down to it.
I was never a strong believer in fate. I always thought it was a cop out. When I wanted something, I’d get it. When I wasn’t happy for whatever reason, I’d change it. My destiny and ultimate contentment was completely within my own power. Now I’m doubting. If something is meant to be, will it just be? Can anything be done on our earthly plane to change the path that we’re on? Regardless of what turns we take, what decisions we make, do we end up, ultimately, at a predetermined destination? What fate says is that individuals are just flitting around with no control over what’s going to happen. That’s a scary concept. That can’t be right. Can it?
trishatruly said,
October 24, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
At everything2.com there is this great paragraph that says:
“Randomness is the state of being wholly unpredictable or having no pattern whatsoever. This idea is wholly scary to some – the idea that there are things that don’t have rhyme or reason. But in all our humanly power, mankind has been unable to generate something as simple as a random number. Computer random number generators are based on events or numbers that are very hard to predict, such as the millisecond that the random number is asked for. However, this quantity is not random.
Belief in fate requires a certain amount of faith. But, it seems, not believing in fate does as well. As long as man can’t find anything truly random, it is impossible to say for sure that fate does or does not exist. It’s a point to ponder.”
So perhaps we should quantify “faith”? One can have faith in more than one thing! It is not a word to solely descibe religious beliefs.
The faith/fate debate is a long and age-old one. Glad to see someone out in Blog-Land doing some thinking for a change!
Good subject! I’m sure you’ll be bombarded by religious folks though.
Ok, that quote just broke my brain.
I strongly agree that faith is not bound by religion. Hence my confusion by those, like my friend, who are religiously faithful. For instance, I have complete faith I will win the lottery. It’s just a matter of time. I highly doubt God’ll have anything to do with it though. Truth is, I WISH I could believe like that. Seems it would make life, and the challenges it brings, so much easier.
birdpress said,
October 24, 2008 @ 2:15 pm
I’m a recovering alcoholic and I have faith in a higher power, but I am not Christian. I believe that we are all a part of God in the way that individual droplets of water can be separated from an ocean. Kinda sorta.
I do believe that our life is laid out before us in an inevitable course of events, but I also believe that we have free will. The idea that God knows the choices we make is only due to the fact that we are, in a sense, history to God. Our lives have already happened, or everything happens all at once and time is just a way to keep track. I also believe there is a plan for everything. Someone much greater than us, that we are merely a tiny piece of, understands it all, and we aren’t expected to. We just do the best we can with the minds we were given to play with during our time on earth.
I think the idea of a man in the clouds is just a simplistic way for people to feel secure without having to think too much about it. Kind of like telling a child to do something “because mommy says so”, so that they will do the proper thing before understanding why it is the proper thing.
Thank you for the response and congrats on your recovery!
Man in the clouds – control the masses and maybe, too, a nice way for most people to not feel so alone?
Peter Parkour said,
October 24, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
TrishaTruly sent me your way saying we had similar posts (Kinda, but not really), wondering if it was “Faith Friday”.
I agree with you that things would be so much easier with said faith, but I also can’t help but feel it would be a cop out. I just can’t do it. 
I can’t either and it’s pissing me off! I just want to wake up one morning with complete faith that everything will be the way I envision it. I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
Thanks for visiting.
Luke said,
October 28, 2008 @ 7:41 pm
I don’t know what to say, other than I have faith that you’ll see the light and that I’m praying for you. We are all praying for you.
Save your prayers and just buy me something.
Billy said,
October 30, 2008 @ 10:39 pm
“There is no fate but what we make”
I can’t believe I just dropped a line from The Terminator on such a serious post. Sorry about that.
Not to worry. That movie was, like, mad deep. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll just be over here hiding from H-K’s.